≡ THE “HITCHIN’ POST” ………………Talk About Anything ≡

≡ THE “HITCHIN’ POST” ………………Talk About Anything ≡

Keep it clean, folks! (…more or less.) sausage making

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by Frank L. Visco
My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:
  1. Avoid alliteration. Always.
  2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
  3. Avoid clichés like the plague.(They’re old hat.)
  4. Employ the vernacular.
  5. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
  6. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
  7. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
  8. Contractions aren’t necessary.
  9. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
  10. One should never generalize.
  11. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I hate quotations. Tell me what YOU know.”
  12. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
  13. Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
  14. Profanity sucks.
  15. Be more or less specific.
  16. Understatement is always best.
  17. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
  18. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
  19. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
  20. The passive voice is to be avoided.
  21. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
  22. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
  23. Who needs rhetorical questions?
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595 thoughts on “≡ THE “HITCHIN’ POST” ………………Talk About Anything ≡

  1. Fellas, just got 2 steelies and a brown trout out of the freezer and going to do some smoking. My question is, should I go the a 80 degree solution for a couple hours or 40-50 degree overnight soak? Brown is just about 4 lbs and the steel head are 3 to 3.5. I want to leave them whole, but if suggested otherwise(?) I would chunk them or even filet. I always left then whole but am open for different ideas. Also I just use a basic brine 2tbls of #1 per gallon and salt. What difference would some sugar make. Just guessing but maybe the strong taste salmon / trout flavor smoothed out? Do you guys use a salinometer? Fruit or hickory?
    Thanks Guys, Much appreciated.
    Fred 🙂

    1. Howdy Fred! I use a overnight teriyaki brine for salmon and trout, always smoke with apple wood.
      1 cup canning salt
      2 cups brown sugar
      3 cups Yoshida teriyaki sauce
      3 cups pineapple juice
      3 cups water
      2 tbsp each onion powder, garlic powder, black pepper
      After brining I dry the fillets or chunks under a fan for a couple of hours till the pellicle forms, then give them a brushing of honey, into the Pro 100 @ 165º. CW would probably toss a tablespoon of Instacure #1 in the brine, but I’ve been doing it this way for about 35 years, no problems yet. RAY

    1. There was a news story this morning regarding the proposed Texas feral hog poisoning program. There is an injunction against poisoning ’em just yet- – more study needed, in light of a similar program in Australia which was tried and abandoned. The poison in question is warfarin, a rat poison but also a “blood thinner” used in controlled doses in humans to reduce blood clot formation, which causes vermin to bleed to death.
      Seems to me that putting that sort of compound into an animal population consumed by hunters and sportsmen is just asking for trouble. The immediate effect will be to reduce hunting of the creatures, which is counter to the desired effect. At worst, any hunters who consume the beasts could themselves bleed to death.

  2. We have friends in Austin who tell me a man can knock on a farmers door and easily be granted permission to hunt hogs on the farmers land. That’s about halfway across the USA for me to get to, I can get to hog country a hour from my home. I like to make sure the hogs I whack have been dining on acorns or hanging out in barley fields, gotta be nice and fat! With all the rain we’re having in California it should be a real good breeding year for wild pigs. RAY

  3. Water & Power: A California Heist
    Ray, I just watched this National Geographic special and thought of you. What a SUPERB documentary about water in Your neck of the woods. The corruption of how the peoples natural resource is being exploited for profit . If ANYONE has any interest on this subject it is a 2 hour documentary available online through this link of will be scheduled in the future on your cable / satellite provider. I will be watching this again asp. IMO this is superb journalism. Fred

    Next airing Sat Mar 18, 10:30 a.m. ET
    Water & Power: A California Heist

    The story of how a handful of water barons gained control of the state’s most precious resource while drought left local homeowners with dry wells.

  4. Thanks Fred, I’ll make a point of watching that this evening! Out here it’s a constant battle between farmers and fishermen to decide how to grow crops and keep the salmon alive. A big valley billionaire farmer has Feinstein and Jerry Brown in his back pocket and would be happy to see all the salmon dead. It’ll be interesting to see how the fish fare with the destruction of the EPA and NOAA by the new administration. It’s all about money, of course. RAY

    1. Hi Dee,
      Great question! Have you ever heard of zirconia? It is the common name for zirconium dioxide or ZrO2. Heating (firing) zirconium powder in a dry-pressed form really changes its character and knifemakers today add magnesium and calcium to stabilize it so it does not fracture. Knives are sharpened before being fired in a kiln to produce a nearly permanent edge. The only trouble is the knife is brittle and prone to breaking if dropped. When a knife is removed and cooled during processing, it measures 8.5 on the scale of mineral hardness (called the Mohs scale). Hardened stainless steel tested on the same scale (Mohs) registers about 7.5.
      When ceramic blades are cooled and cleaned after firing, they are sharpened again with diamonds before leaving the factory. The edge will not be able to be sharpened by most owners at home unless a diamond abrasive is used. However, the ceramic will remain sharp about ten times longer than regular steel. It will not conduct electricity and is non-magnetic. On the other hand, a ceramic knife cannot be pried in any way during use and bones are tough enough to chip its edges.
      Eventually a factory-sharp edge of ceramic knives will degrade and lose their cutting ability and even chip. When this happens it is best to seek a professional who has experience with diamond sharpening or send the knife back to the manufacturer for re-sharpening. Better brand factories offer a complimentary sharpening service when returned.
      I’ve heard all sorts of stories about real macho-men claiming to sharpen ceramic knives with carbide and even zirconium belts. Don’t fall for the tricks. Find someone experienced with diamond honing and sharpening equipment or call the factory to inquire about their sharpening policy. Please let us know how things turn out. Hope you are well Dee! Nice to hear from you.

      Best Wishes,

  5. Dateline May 16, 2017, Draper, UT: Classified Leak of Sausage Recipe – Authorities today confirmed a leak of classified sausage recipe information by Chuckwagon, currently the administration’s Sausage Czar, to – who else? – the Russians. Acting on advice from un-named sources, agents swooped down on the headquarters of SausagesWest.com and, after a brief struggle in the back yard by his smoker, took CEO (Chief Effluent Overlord) Chuckwagon into custody. It was he who promoted the slogan, “A chicken in every pot? Phooey! A sausage in every pocket!”

    Citizens across the Intermountain West have taken the populist slogan to heart, leading to a sharp rise in arrests for shoplifting in many of the finer grocery stores’ meat departments and delicatessens. Owing to a strong resemblance to carrying a handgun in their pocket, many sausage aficionados were also charged with lack of a concealed weapon permit.

    An un-named spokesman for Mr. Wagon, who wishes to remain at large, tweeted that “There, but for the grace of… uh… No. Wait…! When, in times of… uh…” The rambling message unfortunately exceeded the 146-character limit, right after a demand for BitCoin, and was lost to public awareness. Cyber security experts are hot on the trail, seeing as how the odor of wood smoke and garlic can be easily followed by nosey reporters.

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